Last day at the clinic

So,the last day arrives. Off to the clinic with gifts.
I was writing the last installment of the blog this morning before we went and I just didn't think I could stop crying and get myself out the door and into the van. But we prayed and I rallied and off we went. When we first got there we had the suitcase full of underwear that my church had donated so we brought it up to Young Jonathan, a missionary who is going to be there for a few more months. He is kind of coordinating the orphanage right now. He was glad to receive the donations and I got to see the rooms where the children sleep. Lots of bunk beds, pretty bare, no toys or stuffed animals or anything, each child has a bed and a drawer and a cubby. (Pictures) I keep reminding myself that this is one of the good places, it is pretty clean, the orphans don't have any signs of malnutrition like the distended bellies or reddish, falling out hair that I saw in the villages on my other trip. But I couldn't help but think of Owen and Kenna's rooms at home, (my niece and nephew) their rooms are so full of toys and Kenna sleeps with about 20 stuffed animals and they are such a comfort to her. Heck, I'd like to have a stuffed animal right about now for some cuddling and comfort, never mind if I was in an orphanage, separated from my brothers and sisters, not knowing if I would ever see my family again. You see, most of the kids at the orphanage have parents, it's just that the parents can't afford to feed them so they leave them there. If you have several kids how do you pick which one you give away? And how does it feel to be the one they didn't want? It's not like in "Annie" when she went to,the orphanage as a baby. These kids know their parents and remember their siblings and know they weren't wanted.  It was hard to see. But in the meantime the kids were running around the yard playing and laughing and as we came downstairs I had to stop for lots of hugs. They crave hugging and boy does it feel good to have those little hugs.

Then it was time for he therapists day to,start, and on Fridays all 4 of them work together. They start with a staff meeting and then go on to see patients. Shantia and I had asked if we should come for the staff meeting or if it would be better if we came at 10 after the meeting but they asked us to come.
I was thrilled to be part of their staff meeting, they started with devotions, sang a hymn and then Anscy led us in prayer, with Pierre translating in my ear. It was such a beautiful prayer, they were so thankful for the learning this week and for my coming. They asked God to bless the clinic and all the disabled children they work with. They asked God to help them continue the clinic even without Deliris guiding them. It was wonderful and so moving, I thought how much different every workday would be if we began it this way. I tried to tell them what a blessing this week has been to me too. A new lease on life and OT and maybe a calling to get off my butt and find a way to work with children. (Tearfully)  That it made me so hopeful to see the beliefs of my profession being carried out all over the world. Sometimes when you do the same thing over and over again for 24 years and especially when you work in the nursing home, it feels like you are banging your head against the wall, because even if my patients get better, eventually I see them again and they go downhill and pass away. Constant loss. I really hope we do keep in touch and get that computer and wifi working and that when I come back next year the clinic is still going strong and growing. The Hungarians who fund the clinic and pay the therapist salaries have someone named Dora who is going to be here for a few months so hopefully she will help keep the ball rolling. At any rate these therapists are devoted to the children, it is clear they all really love what they do,and make sacrifices to keep doing it. So please keep them in your prayers.

We gave them the computer and the book and exchanged emails and we had chocolates for the therapists (some things never change, right therapists at home?) and I had bought fruit loops for Pierre because he had told me he liked them. They were happy we had bought the cereal for the orphans. We talked about ways to keep in touch and I asked about texting if they couldn't get internet access all the time at the clinic.  They said that each text to the United States costs 6 gourde, the Haitian gourde is about 40:1 to American dollars. But if they send 5 texts, they get 50 free so really it is 30 gourde for 55 texts, a little less than a dollar.  I wanted to give them each a couple of dollars so they could text me if they wanted to but I didn't, Shantia had said all our donations etc should go through pastor Ranell. I wanted to ask them What their salary was. But I thought it might be rude. I just learned that Agnes, another one of the Hungarians is driving us to the airport tomorrow so maybe an opportunity will come to discuss that.
> . I think usually at staff meetings they discuss all the clients and their progress and treatment ideas for them but because I was there they asked me some more questions, like how did I motivate my patients to come to therapy? I described what a nursing home is and talked about how some people live there all,the time and some just come for rehab, and that I go to their room and beg and plead with them To get out of bed but that usually once they have come a couple of times they understand hat it is not so bad and they want to come. They get talking to,the therapists And to other patients and they feels better. It is such a contrast, I am sure many parents really want to bring their children to,the center but the barrier is money and transportation. I think I have alluded to this before but the way most people travel in Haiti is to walk or take the tap-tap. You have to have money for the tap-tap and it is a very bumpy ride, very difficult with a disabled child. Can you imagine carrying your baby in the back of an open pickup truck on an unpacked, rutted road? And then as the child gets bigger it becomes more difficult.

Shantia brought up,the idea of a sliding scale fee schedule. Right now all the care at the center is free. She thought this was a good idea because people put more value on a service they have to pay for, and maybe that would help the no-shows be more consistent. We talked around this idea for a while and eventually came to the idea of having a small fee for evaluations, and if you skip several sessions on a row, that you have to pay the evaluation fee again. I don't know what they will do with this idea but it was good to talk about. It was like the ID cards, they thought that they should have ID cards stating that they have steady work and are employees of the clinic, they think it might help,them to be more respected and maybe help if they wanted a bank account, etc.

Then a few of the orphans came for work on school based issues, learning disabilities, etc. by this time I was just fried, so emotionally exhausted. It is a good thing we didn't have to work long days this week because I never would have made it. Your mind just spins all the time trying to figure it all out and I think you could live in Haiti for 10 years and still never figure it all out.
We had lunch, some laughs, and then word came from Young Jonathan, the leader of the orphanage that one of the boys was very ill. He had been in therapy this morning and complaining of a tummy ache but Jonathan said now he was screaming and crying in pain. He wanted to know if we had a nurse or a doctor with us and we didn't. I didn't think I could do anything for,him, what do I know,about pediatric abdominal pain? So we just said that he should go,to,the hospital but I felt terrible that there wasn't anything I could do.
A short time later we heard from Old Jonathan (the one in our group-sorry Jonathan!) that they were finished on the construction site and were planning to go,up to petionville, another section of port au Prince where we could do a little shopping. If any part of port au Prince I
Is for tourists this is it. A wild ride in the van through traffic and all the sights and sounds, people everywhere, carrying things on their head, coming right up to,the van to sel,us water or soda or whatever, and as we climbed up a little higher some nice views of houses on the side of the mountain, all painted in tropical colors like you see on St. Thomas. It was clearly a wealthier area, more stores and nicer stores, but still anything you could imagine being sold on the street. Fruit, cooked food, mixed drinks, furniture, wood carvings, metal art, paintings, cell phones and sell phone cards, I can't even describe it. We stopped at a little park and took some pictures. We had fonzie (the van driver) with us but apparently someone thought that wasn't enough protection for the white people so Pierre and Schnieder also came with us, 2 of the translators. We made a stop at a restaurant called Epi D'Or for a delicious Prestige, the Haitian beer! Much toasting and celebrating all around. On the way home we stopped at one more supermarket and I got some coffee to take home. It was nice to,have a "road trip" a little outing to celebrate our last day. Jonathan and Shantia said this is the first time they have ever done this but I think it is really important to do it.
As we got home i realized had to say goodbye to Pierre again, he has been so wonderful to me this week. So,open with himself and we have had such great conversations. He is in college now to be a lawyer and I pray he will make it. It makes me feel good that he will have work with the team next week as well and hopefully I will see him again next year. His older brother epwas in Malden, Massachusetts for a while so,that is another connection, maybe he will make it to the US.

had a good chat with Brian about how the Haitians can love us and hate us so much at the same time. More later.

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