Jenna's entry #2

At first I was very intimidated to write on this blog at all, I read a few of the other entries and they were so eloquent , so beautifully written. My voice is not like that. And to share my faith and prayers so openly felt naked. It was fine to write on it when I hadn't shared it's existence with anyone I knew, but to push the button to share it on Facebook was hard. Now that I have, however, the words don't want to stop. BTW, it's the middle of the night and I can't sleep because the rooster has decided it is morning and tough patooties to anyone who does not agree. So blog it is.
 It's hard to want to be here when you are uncomfortable, like now. It does help to some extent to remember that just next door, or even maybe down the hall, other children of God who happen to live here are much more uncomfortable. They don't have an air conditioner or maybe even something soft to lie on when they are trying to sleep. Or I think the ladies who cook and clean for us are getting here and starting breakfast right now. But it doesn't take away the crankiness. It does affirm that I am different from lots of Americans who don't care, or who do care but not enough to get their butts on the plane, feet in the rubble, hands busy. So good for me. Yeah, right. I miss my own bed and my snuggly husband. Oh well.
The therapy clinic has my mind spinning. I don't know where to begin describing it. Before I came I didn't have any idea what to expect so I bought this amazing book called Disabled Village Children. It is a great book, describes the kind of disabilities one might see in a third world country, and a good overview of occupational therapy with children in general, which I sorely needed, having only worked with adults for 24 years. It is written in layman's language but does not skip the medical terms, just explains them clearly and simply. It is meant to empower anyone who cares about these children who are often marginalized, ignored, maybe even given less food than their healthy brothers and sisters, not hugged and sung to and read to and given special attention in school. More likely they don't go to school at all. It teaches everything you need to know to keep these children safe and healthy and involved in the life of the community, employed in whatever way they can be, seen for their abilities and not their disabilities. It's a good lesson for us in the US as well because although we have the latest equipment, wheelchairs, special transportation, ramps, PCA's, organizations and support groups, we still see people with disabilities as less than ourselves rather than differently abled. I know I am guilty of it myself in my own life and job when I prefer to do thingsFOR my patients rather than give them the time and encouragement to do it themselves. The truth is I get tired or frustrated or rushed because I have so many patients to see in this amount of hours and if I don't make a certain productivity quota I get in trouble. It's no excuse and I will try to remember the days when I was a new OT and was more in tune with the basic tenets of my profession: people who are differently abled need a coach and problem solver to be there for them, present with them in the physical sense and spiritual sense, as they struggle to put their socks on. Because they deserve to feel the kind of self respect that only taking care of yourself can bring. It makes you a real person to be able to dress yourself, take yourself to the bathroom when you need to go, get up and move around and communicate with the people around you, find ways to laugh and love and have a purpose in your community and be respected for what you can do. Whoops, kinda forgot in the hubbub of the nursing home and Medicare and my own needs. Thanks God for reminding me. And thank you, thank you God for giving me the gift of this profession that I am uniquely suited for and that feeds my spirit when I allow myself to get caught up in loving people with disabilities. And BTW, thanks Mom who knew me well enough at a very young age to insist I choose a direction when going to college and even to guide me towards this profession. She knew my talents and what would make me happy and I'm so thankful for that. Everyone should have a mom like that. And thanks Dad for coughing up the bucks so I could go to school, writing me letters while I was there, and believing so strongly in the value of education and in me that I could do it. But I digress.
So when I got here I was delighted to find a modern therapy clinic, in all the ways that matter. So they don't have air conditioning, a working bathroom, a wide selection of Tumble Forms, wheelchairs, walkers, easy access to braces and splints, whatever, but they do have floor mats, therapy balls, more toys and puzzles than they can use. They have very carefully selected toys that can be used to achieve lots of different goals, standing, reaching, cognitive and speech and ADL goals. I learned more about pediatric occupational therapy in one day than I ever learned in school. And they use modern, sophisticated therapy approaches, they are these 4 Haitian therapy aides who have amazing NDT handling skills and they know another different therapy genre/system that I have never even heard of called FLAME and for Pete's sake I need to google that. So these two aides carry out amazing treatments. It was hard for me to think of any suggestions for them to improve their treatment. I wish they could read this blog because they don't believe me when I tell them that I am sure there are lots of therapists in the US with advanced degrees who don't understand and carry out the theories as well as they do. What a gift from God these therapists are. They do not have letters after their name or a diploma on the wall but they ARE therapists.The clinic is called A Touch of Hope and that is really what it is for these children, and for these employees who have a steady, pleasant, and mostly fulfilling job in a country with 90% unemployment.
The clinic was founded by a woman named Deliris. I am not sure of all the details but I know she was an occupational therapist for 17 years and worked in an NDT clinic. Then somehow she was called to be one a minister and missionary. I am not sure exactly where she is from or how long she has been in Haiti. She is leaving Haiti tomorrow to go home for a while. I think she is a Baptist missionary and there is some rule that you have to go home after 4 years and have a period of 'discernment' to see what God is calling you to do next. I won't give my thoughts on that but suffice it to say that I am concerned about how the clinic will run without her. Right now she is the evaluating therapist. She sees all the new referrals and sets up the program and teaches it to the aides and they carry it out. So when she goes I don't know how that will happen. Shantia assures me that the clinic will continue without her because there is a Hungarian mission that is also very involved in this orphanage and clinic and has agreed to keep funding the aides' salaries. But I am sure they will feel lost without Deliris the same as any therapists who lose their supervisor and mentor and I don't know how I can possibly help them through that in a week. I have no idea of their assessment and treatment planning skills but I am not sure it is the right thing to go there, to assess that and try to teach them that in 4 more days. I pray about it a lot, God, please tell me what is the most important thing I can do for them and help me do it. They don't have any kind of documentation system for evaluation or treatments or measuring progress. So they have to remember each patients program and they do, it seems, exactly as Deliris has taught it to them. I wonder if I should try to get them to keep notes, at least for themselves, and to show some objective progress, not that anyone would ever see them or read them or certainly not send them to the insurance company (therapists wouldn't that be a dream come true? No notes. I know of a job opening. No salary, benefits, food, or place to sleep but very rewarding.).
The last thing I want to do is make these aides (OMG I have GOT to learn their names today!!) feel discouraged or that they are not doing it right. So much of what they are doing is absolutely perfect and way ahead of  (I'm sure) the rest of the whole country. (PS they don't believe me when I tell them that and they don't believe Deliris either). But I know and trust that God has sent me here for a reason and please, please God tell me what it is quick QUICK so I can get it done in a week! I am so willing. Please help me. I know You have brought me here for myself, to help me rebuild my own confidence after a tough year, and to give me an invitation to work with children at home, but please God there must be a way I can serve here, NOW, these wonderful people who are so faithful to You. I'll do whatever You ask. Even though it means I have to be up in the middle of the night listening to the stupid rooster. Note to self: do you REALLY want to live in the country? Lol.
Sending love to all from Haiti,
Jenna