Last day at the clinic #2

So this is the story of Friday continued. Sorry for all the typos but blogger is giving me a little bit of a hard time, I seem to select an copy and paste things I don't want to. But here is the continued story, copied from a draft in my email because we had about a 24 hour period with no wifi (horrors!)


So home to dinner and it was a long wait for the ladies to cook it and we were all tired and hot and dirty and I was VERY cranky. I wondered if the Prestige had been such a good idea. But eventually dinner came & it was pretty good, but the meat was scary again, we thought maybe goat but later Ada figured out it was ox tail. While we were at the restaurant earlier Jonathan had bought a pineapple upside down cake and we had that for dessert, so much for losing weight in Haiti, I ate my piece and then Maureen didn't eat most of hers so I ate that too. The. We went to pray and discussed going to the orphanage, some went but I just couldn't. I felt guilty. It I felt like I had said goodbye to that place earlier and I just couldn't do it again. Later I heard that Jonathan, Shantia, Ada and Jenn had gone and they were there for he children's nighttime prayers. They sing songs and stand up to pray and half the children were so sleepy the adults were holding them up. Shantia had one child on either side she was holding up and Jenn was sitting down with one child laying on her lap, another one cuddled up on her side, and two more stretching their feet out to touch her. They just want that loving human touch. They must be so lonesome. Earlier in the day whe the little one (one of the two Marvin's, I think) was sick he couldn't eat his cereal so he sent his friend in to eat it, so they do look out for each other. But it is not the same. They need a mommy and a daddy figure at least at the orphanage and that would be a huge job for someone. Right now there is really only one person who serves in that capacity. There is Pastor Ranell who oversees it and visits often, and someone must cook for the children and do their laundry, but no one person that the buck stops with. Two young missionaries have been filling those shoes but one just went home and that leaves Young Jonathan, who I think is around 25, responsible for 28 children between the ages of about 3 to 14. At 14 they "age out" of the orphanage and are expected to go out in the world and make their own way good luck I. A country with 90-95% u employment. One of the members of our group, David, is really concerned with this issue and hopes to move to Haiti someday to start a "halfway house" type thing for the 14 year olds to go until they are able to be more independent. One thing you notice in the school, which serves both the orphanage and the community, is that as the grade gets higher, the class gets smaller. There are around 30 in the kindergarten but only 8 in the 5th grade (I think, Maureen? Close?) as they get older and are able to beg or work at all that is the end of school for them. There is no public school in Haiti, it is all paid for by the parent so many cannot go to school at all. I was kind of sorry that I missed the good night prayers and cuddles but it was good for me that I stayed home and took a shower, relaxed, I was exhausted. I didn't do that. Ich physical work this week but emotionally it takes it out of you.

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Last day at the clinic

Medical Miracles

The second week of our work in Haiti is focusing on medical clinics. The blog for this week is shifting over to the blog that focuses on that medical week. Please join us on Medical Miracles.

Here I am, Lord

A song I know from singing in the Folk Group in church as a teenager. I don't know who to give credit to so if you do please write it in the comments section. David if you see this and can embed a link so people can hear it that would be awesome. Can't find, "paste" on the iPad.




Here I am, Lord


I The Lord of sea and sky
I have heard my people cry
All who dwell in dark and sin
My hand will save

I who made the stars of night
I will make their darkness bright
Who will bear My light to them
Whom shall I send?

Here I am , Lord,
Is it I, Lord?
I have heard You calling in the night
I will go,Lord,
If You lead me
I will hold Your people in my heart.

I The Lord of snow and rain
I have borne My peoples pain
I have wept for love of them
They turn away.

I will break their hearts of stone
Give them hearts for love alone
I will speak My word to them
Whom shall I send?

Here I am, lord
Is it ,I Lord?
I have heard You calling in the night
I will go, Lord
If You lead me
I will hold Your people in my heart.

I The Lord of wind and flame
I will tend the poor and lame
I will set a feast for them
My hand will save
Finest bread I will provide
Till their hearts be satisfied
I will give my life to them
Whom shall I send?

Here I am, Lord
Is it I, Lord?
I have heard You calling in the night
I will go, Lord
If You lead me
I will hold Your people in my heart.

So you might be thinking that I am singing this about myself, whom Shall I send, sending me to Haiti, but really it is the Haitian people God is sending to us, to renew our faith. We have the material possessions but they have the faith in God. Which would you rather have?

Dear God, let us Americans be inspired by the faith and joy of the Haitian people that can only come from You. Of course ease their physical suffering but please Lord, let them not fall into the same trap as America, rich in money but poor in spirit. I am filled with love for You and the opportunity You have given me to learn. I love You Lord and thank You for sending Your Son Jesus to save us and bring us to eternal life in You. Amen.

Friday, March 28, 2014


So yesterday was a tough day. Off we went to the clinic as usual and the aides were very happy with the evaluation form, actually one of the last things Deliris did was type a version of an evaluation and she dropped it off after we left, but that was ok, they liked some of the things I had on mine and we wanted to combine the two forms. No problem, I can type it and use Google translate and email it to Pierre and he can print it for them, or they can keep their records on the computer David is going to leave for them. Some good patient time with a bowling game. I was showing them how to adapt the bowling game for grading and for different goals, finger goals or more resistance or half kneeling, and that was good. The therapists tried every single suggestion I made and it seemed they were enjoying the feedback.

 Then a group of 3 orphans came in for more educationally based goals, these are the ones that seem to have learning disabilities, and we were doing letter identification with one boy while Shantia did another game.

When the orphans were ready to leave one of the aides mixed up bowls of milk for the orphans. Deliris used to buy cereal and milk for the orphans and the therapists would give the orphans a bowl of cereal and milk before they left because Deliris thought they were not getting enough food. They get one meal in the morning and another one when school is over at like 2 or 3. This is when I hit the wall with the enormity of it all. How can we buy the cereal and the milk and get it to the clinic? We can do it today, enough to last about 2 weeks but then what about the other 50 weeks until we come back? No, we can't give the $$ to the aides to buy it, they don't have time or transportation, they are trying to work and go to school and take care of their families.  No, we can't give the money to Pastor Ranell , he is too busy as well and may see another need that is more important. Everyone is sick or homeless or starving. How do you choose where the money goes?


 By American standards Dave and I struggle financially a little bit, not as much as some, but we are facing downsizing our house so it will be more manageable for us and we have to think more about our purchases. Now I want to send money to Haiti for everything but where is that coming from when I am not working full time?  It just hit me, before that I had been able to just look at and help the child in front of me but then I got caught up in the scope of the problem. All 28 kids in the orphanage, all 90 kids in the school, all the schools, all the orphanages, all the children on the street, in the sex trade, in the mountains in the huts, all the adults with the pain of watching their children starve, all of Haiti, all of the countries in the world like this. 75% of the world is more like this than what we are used to at home with more food than we can or should eat! We have heat, light, air conditioning, cable, comfy couches, books, e-readers and tablets, kids have more toys than they can play with and we have more clothes than we can wear. We keep buying stuff because we are trying to fill some kind of hole in our spirits. When we have a bad day at work or we are lonely or bored we go to the store and buy ourselves something and that cheers us up temporarily. At least I do. And then we have to buy stuff to hold our stuff, every store has boxes and bins and drawers and hooks and organizers so we can cram more stuff into our homes. When we are looking for a new place to live what is a deciding factor for many? How big are the closets. It was too much to think about. The guilt was overwhelming.


And there are hungry children in America too, homeless people in the street right near my house. I grew up in this neighborhood, and it used to be upper middle class but has slid downhill a little bit. One morning I was returning some books to the library and I surprised a homeless person who was sleeping in the doorway. Right outside the CVS where I pick up my prescriptions there was a homeless man last week, I bought him a water and a couple of energy bars, but how far does that go?


I couldn't take it. I bawled and bawled.  Then another little girl came in for therapy, about 12 years old, with terrible spastic cerebral palsy in all 4 limbs. She walks, kind of, but she can't control her head or any part of her body or her mouth or speech, but she seems to understand everything that is going on around her. She has constant involuntary movements and tight muscles that put her limbs at risk for getting stiff in an awkward position (contractures).  Her father brings here to therapy in a private car, so they must have a little more money than others, but she is reaching the level of being too big to carry her to the clinic. The car has to park outside the orphanage gate and he has to half-walk, half carry her from the car to the clinic. No shoes, they wouldn't stay on her feet. Unless a miracle happens soon she will be unable to leave her house because she cannot walk, does not have a wheelchair, and you couldn't push a wheelchair on the streets of Port au Prince anyway. It took the therapists the whole hour of massage and stretching to get her limbs straight. Then I tried to handle her a little bit and I was able to walk with her a little bit but unable to get her to sit in a chair. I was kind of thinking about a wheelchair, the ones you sometimes see at the beach with the giant wheels that roll on the sand. I had tried to get her to sit on a bench when I got tired of walking with her and there was no way she could sit on a chair at all because she cannot balance her torso and it was so uncomfortable for her. We asked the therapists what else they usually do with her and they do the FLAME program with her, working on standing with the back of the ladder chair, I will write about the FLAME program in a separate post.


Anyway at this point I had the good sense to say to Shantia, let's go home after lunch. We had a good talk with the therapists about things they needed and promised some small things like a 3 ring binder and a bathroom scale which I was sure we could get at the grocery store. Later when we went to the store we couldn't find those things so I felt terrible knowing I had to go back without bringing the things we promised. They must be used to that, to white people showing up and making promises they cannot keep. We can try to send them but it might take months for these small things to get here or they might go missing. My heart is breaking. This clinic is so good. The 12 year old has been coming to the clinic for 3 years, pretty much since they opened, and she was doing better but then she wasn't able to come for a while because she was sick and she lost ground. The clinic is so beautiful, toys, mats, the FLAME equipment, but the first walker they had seen was the one I brought. They work on the floor on these interlocking foam tiles that some people use for kids to play on. They didn't have a pillow for this little girl to rest her head on, we were trying to find anything to use. I had packed a yoga mat because I was expecting the clinic to be a bare room with a concrete floor, so at least it was much better than that. I had an inflatable travel pillow with me and I thought I might give it to the clinic but I have been sleeping on it every night, here because the pillow at the guest house is like a rock and  I want it for the ride home on the plane and I am too selfish to give it to them. This is the story of Thursday that I am writing. I had to wait until Friday morning to say anything about it because I was so upset.

Today is the last day. I know I have helped these therapists somewhat this week but there is so much we weren't able to do for them, never mind all the places that have no therapists, no doctors, no nurses, no knowledge of how to care for disabled people, young and old, strokes, broken bones, CP, everything. My heart is aching. God, how can you allow this to be Your world? How can you allow Your children to suffer so? Don't You love them? How can You let them be hungry and sick from dirty water and have broken bodies and be stuck in the house, lonely sad, hurting? I have my own struggles at home, some of you know about my illness, my year, my losses, our plans to move out of our home because we can't afford it, and it is nothing compared to what these people go through every day, cooking their food  (if they have any) over a charcoal fire or maybe a fire of trash because they have nothing else to burn? No microwave and no pizza delivery. Haiti has a 90-95% unemployment rate. Maybe I said that before. So people sit along the roadside, many trying to sell things to scrape out a meager existence. Some just sit with a blank look on their faces. These beautiful people, Your people, God.

I don't know how I can stop crying and go back to the clinic but I must, I must show hope and encouragement to these people so they will continue to do such good work with the one in front of them, and try not to think about all those they can't help. I know God has sent me here to help them and I cannot waste time crying about it all. So I will pray and get my butt out the door.

Dear God, help us all to get through this day. Help the therapists and children feel my love for them and believe that I will not forget them when I go home. Help them believe that one person at least cares so much. By American standards I have some financial struggles myself but help me make good decisions about what I do with my resources so there is some left for Haiti. Thank you for the opportunity to be here, for all the hugs and smiles and kisses from the children that have supported me this week. Lord, I do know and trust that you love all Your children and the Haitians believe this firmly. Maybe even though we have more material possessions, their faith is the greater gift.  Help me to take some of this faith home with me. In Jesus name we pray, amen.
 

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Dirt Moved, Colorful Houses, And Goodnight Prayers

Friday was our last day at the construction site. The goal was to move the unused dirt from the front of the church to the back. We were not quite sure why this was needed as more of it will be used when the floor is poured after ceiling is set, but apparently it was more important to have the dirt out of the way for church; even if that means someone else will have to move the dirt back at a later date.

But it was done and when they last bucket of dirt was carried and dumped there was a general sigh of relief.

The work day actually ended a little early so we headed to Petion-Ville to do a little walk-a-bout. There was a nice park that we walked through called "Place Saint Pierre". There were lots of people about and apparently it is common to go to the park and have public discussions. While we were at the park there seemed to be two groups discussing something or other. The discussions were quite lively. I am not sure what they were discussing, but I like the idea of a place to have public discourse.

On the hills above Petion-Ville there are what look like hundreds of houses all painted various pastel colors. It reminded me of the houses at Capitola Beach, California. It was comforting and wonderful to see the color in the hills when most of the houses we see are the same gray color of concrete and cinderblock. While Port-au-Prince is full of life and activity and there are splashes of color, a large part of the buildings are monochromatic.

Before we headed back to the dormitory we stopped at a small bakery for a snack. I ordered an iced coffee as I have been getting to much sugar with the nightly cokes accompanying dinner, but what I was handed was something akin to a Frappuccino including whip cream and chocolate syrup. So much for less sugar, but I must admit it was great going down.

After we got back to the dormitory and had dinner a few of us went to the orphanage to pick up a suitcase we needed to bring back. We got there about 10 to 15 minutes before the bed time prayer time for the kids. We sat with the kids as they sang night time songs, prayed, and generally calmed down for sleep. By the time we were done each of us had a least one child that was asleep and had to be carried to bed. It was a great way to end the day. It was a side of the life of these kids that I had not yet seen in the 5 years I have come here as usually we head to the dormitory earlier. But it is a time I hope to participate in again.

The Gift Of Teaching

By Maureen White

Hearing of the opportunity to presumably "pioneer" in a Haitian elementary school to assist teachers with their curriculum, I agreed to travel this year with WAYS (Workday for Adults and Youth in a Service) on their annual mission trip to Port au Prince, Haiti, where they serve the Baptist Convention Community in various capacities. Aware of the country's unemployment rate and devastating conditions since their 2010 earthquake, I enthusiastically filled a suitcase with paper, notebooks, pencils, crayons, scissors, children books, teacher manuals, and other assorted teaching aides which were hoarded in my home from my teaching years of all grades, K through graduate levels. I had been told materials in English would be helpful so it was a bit of a shock when I learned one week before our departure that I would be assigned a translator for her to communicate in French for me. This young woman, age 22, and nearly completing her high school degree, turned out to be the greatest gift I could have been given.

The first day in a new school of 2 years, I spent observing the 5 teachers' in their classrooms and quickly realized all my imagined plans --- and many of the materials I brought --- were totally inappropriate. The teachers are mandated to teach everything in the national language French, and once I saw the children copying and parroting back their lessons with little or no understanding, it dawned on me that this was clearly a bi-lingual school, yet not implemented as such. I became discouraged and disillusioned at the outset, watching these beautiful, neatly coifed kids struggle. On day two I discussed this problem with my translator, nick-named, JJ, and was stunned with how she grasped the whole difficult situation I was in --- to model lessons which didn't make sense.

I had observed the wonderful rapport the teachers had with JJ and how she translated --- in their native language, Creole --- my plans for each of their classes. Of course, many rolled their eyes. When I realized how bright and perceptive she is, I decided on a role reversal; I would teach her how to teach the lessons I had planned.

It thrilled me beyond words to then observe this young woman take over a class, engage all the kids, and even get most of the teachers to participate with her.

When I first saw her read one of the French stories we were practicing, at the finish of a school day, I was struck by what a magnet she is with kids. A few circled around her as she read, and then others watching, just gravitated to her.

In praising her afterwards, she admitted she read the story in Creole. She intuitively knew if she wanted to engage and have them enjoy the story, they had to listen to it in Creole, then have them execute the intended lesson(s) in French.

I have taught many teachers, over my tenure of 32 years, and JJ is at the top of that list. She possess the innate qualities of: aptitude, personality, compassion, love of children, and a hungry thirst to learn. I came to Haiti, with the lofty thought of giving; I'm leaving this country, blessed with gratitude, knowing it is I who became the recipient.