Second day home and I still feel kind of tender and bruised all over. Hope I am not getting sick! (lol, I don’t think so.) Haiti has a way of beating you up: I am pretty sedentary at home and there is a lot of  lifting, schlepping, bouncing around on the tap tap, hoofing it up concrete stairs, etc. It makes your skin sensitive with the sun, wind, dust, charcoal smoke. I also think it makes your soul more sensitive, tender, and bruised. Haiti cracks open our protective shells to access the real self inside.

 

In the united states we are cocooned in our houses, cars, protected from the sky and wind all the time. We are guarded and protective of our real selves and our souls.  “How are you?” “Fine.” Even when you are far from fine and it is a dear friend asking. In Haiti I have a dear friend, I have written of him before, Pierre/Junior, one of the translators. As I was leaving I told him you are a friend of my heart, my brother in Christ. I would never say that to anyone in the US, they would not get it. But with Junior our conversations flow easily from how do you make that chicken thing you are eating to what does it feel like to ride on an airplane to how do we be like Christ in the world of Haiti and at home. There is no difference in the comfort level of these conversations. And so I feel cracked open, raw and exposed, and tears flow easily. I feel as if I have to put my shell and mask back on to survive my modern life here. And that breaks my heart, I want to be my real self all the time.  I want to show the world what I have learned in Haiti but I can’t even begin to know how.

“How was Haiti?” “Amazing.” And move on to the weather, sports, all the conversations we have daily that have nothing to do with our real selves and the state of our souls. “How is your soul?” “Joyful. Sad. Beat up. Raw. Exposed. Terrified to have seen the face of God a little in myself and others.  Filled with the Holy Spirit. Renewed. Coming into Holy Week not sure I am ready to face the immediacy of Jesus’ sacrifice for us and His immense love for us.”

How is YOUR soul? Can you even access it? Feel the wind today, even if it is cold. Feel the sun today, even if it is weak. Turn off the TV, ipod, computer, radio, and listen for the still small voice that is God. It is there. Listen.

Haiti is...

Haiti is...
Exhausting
Exciting
Fun
Tragic
Growing
Hard work
Hot and sweaty
Uplifting.

Haiti is...
Spiritual
Sad
Painful
Sweet
Breezy
Sunny
Noisy
Smelly
Yummy
Thirsty
Hungry

Haiti is...
Faithful
Holy
Buggy
Life giving
Life saving
Sharing
Kind
Grabbing
Struggling
Scraping

Haiti is...
Digging
Shoveling
Suffering
Benevolent
Romantic
Improving
Palm trees
Coffee
Banan frites

Haiti is...
Spicy
Refreshing
Old & new
Welcoming
Angry
Sullen & resentful
Resigned
Broken
Repairing

Haiti is...
Warm pools and dusty streets
Scary
Friends
Traffic
Open sewers
Homeless children
Laughter
Helping

Haiti is...
Moist
Illiteracy
Education
unemployment
Politics
Corruption
Elections
Robbing Peter to pay Paul
Beautiful
Handcrafted
Pride

Haiti is...
Tears
Joy
Sugar
Tap taps
Horns beeping
Roosters crowing
Free range goats
Locked gates
Guards with guns
Open arms
Faithful
Peaceful

Haiti is.

Day 1 - Haiti - Getting Back to the Children

Miriam and I, she is 4 years old

I am setting on a screened porch, listening to the sounds of the night in Port-au-Prince. I hear bugs clicking, cars sputtering along, dogs barking, music playing, and the voices of many conversations. The smell of burning charcoal is in the air. A slight breezes passes through now and again. It is good to be back in Haiti. I miss they sounds and smells when I am not hear and when I smell wood charcoal burning back in the states it instantly brings me back to Port-au-Prince.

We attended church at the Pastor's church in Martissant this morning. We met old friends and listened to teachings on learning to see what God is asking of you and not to be blind to his guidance. The Pastor also spoke to the congregation about the newest child that will be placed in the orphanage. She is two years old and was brought to the Pastor a week or so ago very sick and with out any cloths. The mother asked the Pastor to care for the child as she could not. The mother is 17 years old. 

The Pastor said that the child is too young for the orphanage at this time and his family is currently caring for the child. Although she is not completely well, she is healing. The Pastor reminded the congregation the love is not a game and they must not treat it as such. 

After church it was off to the grocery store for lunch supplies for the week. We live on PB&J for lunch. It was a short trip to the market, but it is not cheap. 

A quick rest and we were off to the orphanage to get reacquainted, play, and to meet with the Pastor to plan and schedule for the rest of this first week. It always amazes me that the children remember my name. I am in Hait for only two weeks a year and there are other teams that come down from all over, but they remember me, my name, and even that I have two daughters and a son.

I have to admit I did have an alternative purpose in the trip to the orphanage the evening. My goal was to find out a bit more about the age groupings of the children and their current "life skills" training. The mother oldest child at the orphanage is 15 and after him are a group of about 4 or 5 that are 14. None of the children have had life skills training. This means they do not know how to shop for food, cook a meal, or wash their cloths. All skills required to live independently. Nor do they really have mentors to whom they can turn for guidance.

The Good news is the Pastor is open to ideas about providing mentors and life skills training, but this all takes money which is not currently available. Some of the organizations which provide major funding for the orphanage are looking to purchase so property for the older children. We looked at it yesterday. It was nice; it needs a lot of work, but it is a good base. While not the complete answer, a place to live must be part of the answer. 

I love and miss my family. And when I see someone like Richardson who is 15 and lives at the orphanage I think of my children and my son of the same age. I am grateful for him, and my girls. I pray that these children will either find a forever family or learn the skills to be successful as an independent adult.  These children, as mine, will always be part of the family of Christ. Amen. 

The Way Out

I have spent a lot of time in airports this week. I had an unexpected business trip to Atlanta, which meant I spent all of Wednesday and much of Thursday in airports getting between San Jose, California and Atlanta, Georgia. Now I find myself in an airport again as I head to Port-au-Prince, Haiti for two weeks. I am not sure my spirit and mind have caught up to this reality and I suspect this long over night flight from SJC to LAX to JFK to PAP is a blessing in disguise so that I can quiet my soul and get in the right place for this trip.

If you have been reading any of my posts you should be aware that one of the main things on my mind is the children at the orphanage that are nearing the age of majority. At some point the children, really young adults, will be too old to continue to live at the orphanage and alternate arrangements will have to be made else they may end up on their own in the streets or in situations of abuse. I have been doing a lot of reading in this area and armed with a little knowledge I hope to help in anyway I can and not be a burden or a roadblock to the pastor managing the orphanage. 

I have tried to make contact with one of the stateside organizations that help fund and direct the orphanage, but have not received much information about their plans. That is not to say they don't have plans, just that I am not privy to any plans. I know that their has been some talk about purchasing additional land to build young adult housing, but based on my reading, while important, that is only a small part of the overall problem and simply placing the the young adults in alternative housing is necessary, but not sufficient. I hope to have time to work with the pastor to learn of any plans in progress and provide input based on my readings and inputs from others such as Jonathan LaMare from the BeLikeBrit orphanage and Lighthouse Youth Services. 

I pray that God guides this trip to Haiti and that he works through everyone involved to help plan and provide for these children and young adults so that they understand that they are beloved children of God and that they will not be abandoned even as adults. That they are part of a larger family that will be there to support them through their trial into adult hood. That they are given the training and support they require to be who God means them to be. 

While I am away I pray that God protects and supports my family and gives my wife strength and support as she becomes a single parent. Amen. 

Fwiw I set the dog to kill and instructed him on his duty to protect the family before I left.